Change.College.Crying.

Change is something I usually don't welcome with open arms.

It usually means that something has to give, positive or negative. It may be a selfish this for me to say, but I hate change.

I like routines. I like order. I like plans. I like knowing what will happen at all times. I'm a planner and an organizer. 

As I'm getting ready for college, I realized today, how fast and furious that change is coming.

I've been doing a lot of thinking and reminiscing. This time, it's about growing up. It's about the memories I've made, good and bad. It's about the friends that I've laughed with, cried with, and shared life with. It's about making mistakes and learning from them. It's about the stupid inside jokes and laughs that I've shared with people I adore. 

For some reason, heading off to college, I seem extra sappy lately. Maybe it's because my closest friends in high school are going to colleges, thousands of miles away. Or maybe it's because most of my other friends are all headed to a college nearby and I've going to college an hour away. I know it's only an hour, but I'm still leaving.

I've shed my fair share of tears the last few days too.  

I look back through pictures, journals, and old blog posts and think time flew. And yes, I know I blogged multiple times about wanting time to fly. I was ready for graduation and I was ready for a fresh start. 

But now that that fresh start and change is coming, I second guess myself. Will I survive? Will I make new friends? Will my roommate and I get along? Will my friends in Branson remember me? Will I get the grades my parents are wanting me to get? Will I succeed?

I question myself so much, because I want to make sure that everything is going to be ok.

The what-ifs constantly plague my head and I over think every situation. But honestly, which girl doesn't over think and play things out in her head? Let's be real.


With college just a few days away and a to-do list a mile long, here's to hoping that this change is exactly what I needed. That this fresh start will be what I've needed; to get me out of this funk.

Because I know if I've never stretched and bent a little, I'll never grow. Sometimes change is necessary.