Change.College.Crying.

Change is something I usually don't welcome with open arms.

It usually means that something has to give, positive or negative. It may be a selfish this for me to say, but I hate change.

I like routines. I like order. I like plans. I like knowing what will happen at all times. I'm a planner and an organizer. 

As I'm getting ready for college, I realized today, how fast and furious that change is coming.

I've been doing a lot of thinking and reminiscing. This time, it's about growing up. It's about the memories I've made, good and bad. It's about the friends that I've laughed with, cried with, and shared life with. It's about making mistakes and learning from them. It's about the stupid inside jokes and laughs that I've shared with people I adore. 

For some reason, heading off to college, I seem extra sappy lately. Maybe it's because my closest friends in high school are going to colleges, thousands of miles away. Or maybe it's because most of my other friends are all headed to a college nearby and I've going to college an hour away. I know it's only an hour, but I'm still leaving.

I've shed my fair share of tears the last few days too.  

I look back through pictures, journals, and old blog posts and think time flew. And yes, I know I blogged multiple times about wanting time to fly. I was ready for graduation and I was ready for a fresh start. 

But now that that fresh start and change is coming, I second guess myself. Will I survive? Will I make new friends? Will my roommate and I get along? Will my friends in Branson remember me? Will I get the grades my parents are wanting me to get? Will I succeed?

I question myself so much, because I want to make sure that everything is going to be ok.

The what-ifs constantly plague my head and I over think every situation. But honestly, which girl doesn't over think and play things out in her head? Let's be real.


With college just a few days away and a to-do list a mile long, here's to hoping that this change is exactly what I needed. That this fresh start will be what I've needed; to get me out of this funk.

Because I know if I've never stretched and bent a little, I'll never grow. Sometimes change is necessary.  

Monday Randoms

~My big news of the week: I am going to Israel!!!!!!!!!! I am SO excited! I will be going for 10 days in March of 2012. God continues to provide and open the most amazing doors for me. Simply Blessed. I'll be doing a full post soon!

~My other big news: I colored my hair! See full post here!! I LOVE it :) shout out to Addie!!

~ I got rid of all of my "bad music" this week. I'll explain in full detail soon. Addie challenged me to start praying in the car instead of listening to music. So not only did I stop listening to music, I got rid of alot too. I'm s-l-o-w-l-y starting to see some change.... Thankful for a Savior who doesn't give up on me. Relentless I'd say.

~It's been raining here. alot. Fall is leaving. Winter is coming.

~Saturday I worked at the Ziplines. We are opening our 2nd location, Moto Zip this week!!! I'm SO excited. I get to work a little on Wednesday to get the feel for the new location. Maybe I'll get to try it out :)

~Thanksgiving is coming!! Holla!! I'm also excited about this! College kids coming down, family, friends, cousins, late nights, coffee, FOOD, laughing, shopping, ooo it's going to be SO fun!!!

~I work 20 hours in a day and a half! Black Friday!! I'm showing severe self control and not shopping. Heaven help me!

~I finished sending in all of my paperwork to CofO today!! Now I wait and wait.

I'm so excited for this week! I will try and write and post pictures! One more day of school, then break!!! SO happy :) sleeping in will be oh so wonderful!

Happy Monday Ya'll!

Love,

The Day I Finally Colored My Hair

Yes I did. I colored my hair. Actually I didn't. Addie did. I love it. I really do. I went over to Addie's house on Thursday. Starbucks, laughing, hair coloring, and just "flat out good girl time", as she put it. I LOVE her :)

I used Revlon #20 Black Brown.

Heavier on the Black than the Brown.

"Before"

I asked Addie if I went home like this...

clearly I had never colored my hair before!

Stupid Pre-Shower Pose!

Scarrrrry BEFORE:

Blurry After:

After Take 1:

After Take 2:

I LOVE IT!!

Thank-you Addie!! :)

It's Perfect!

Today, well it's cold!

Today: *Excuse my Rant*

It's freezing cold. It was 29 degrees when I woke up this morning. It was 79 on Sunday. I feel like we skipped fall and went straight to winter. Hello, Missouri weather. I'm in 5 different layers, socks, boots, and a pea-coat, and still cold. I've been drinking coffee, tea, hot chocolate, anything that will warm me up! Did i mention wearing a scarf?

Winter seems to put me in a sad mood. It's cold, school started, my seasonal jobs ended, (or severely slowed down), and I just don't like it!!

Trying

to

think

happy

thoughts....

64 days till my #18th birthday

66 days till Christmas

140 days till S-P-R-I-N-G break!!

205 till graduation.

You will be seeing these numbers often!

Happy Wednesday,

Love,

Change: seasons for everything

Fall reminds me alot of change. Change of grades, or high school to college, change in temperatures, schedule changes, leaves changing colors, the list goes on. You get the picture.

Is change good or bad? Is it necessary? Change is not always fun, sometimes it can be, but usually it is not. It means that one season in life is coming to a close, and the start of something new is coming.

I've had much change in my life the past 6 months. I can either roll with it, or stick my feet in the ground and refuse to accept the unchangeable. I've responded in both ways, and usually the latter ends up leaving me negative, unhappy, and living in the past. I've had close friends move away, and my youth pastor left to be a Senior Pastor in February. I was upset, I didn't want to see them go. I missed them, and I loved them dearly. But their times with me, had ended and I needed to move on. I started a new job in May, and worked different schedules, at two jobs, all summer long. I enjoyed it, but it was still change. I entered my final year of high school in August. I'm a Senior now. I'm applying to colleges, and doing campus visits. The more of this I do, the more I realize that change is coming for me next year, and it will be here soon.

So how will I take it? How will I accept it? Will I be okay with where God has placed me for the time being, or will I fight it, and refuse to listen? Can I learn to trust Him and know that He knows best? Will I choose to obey? This in fact, is one of my biggest battles.

There is a verse in Ecclesiastes that I love. It talks about a time, a place, and a season for everything. I'm learning to trust the Lord and be thankful in all things.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

² a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
³ a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
⁴ a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
⁵ a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
⁶ a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
⁷ a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
⁸ a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

Tonight friends, I'm leaving you with that!